Raw is War: Introduction

Idea: The idea behind this EWR diary has roots in Nathan and myself's dislike of how real life John Cena is used on Raw. We hated seeing Cena week after week destroying everyone and over coming insurmountable odds. Eventually, one of us made the comment that John Cena was like a robot, and from there, the creative juices flowed. Seeings how Raw is usually a snoozefest, we began pitching ideas on how the Cena-bot came to be. We were so entertained by this, we starting pitching alternate reality versions of most major Raw characters. That, combined with our love of goofy mid-90's storylines is what lead to me starting this diary.

Concept: The story is unlikely, but simple. WWE's top creative men have all found clever ways to get themselves fired. WWE, strapped for writers, takes a different approach. Instead of the usual Hollywood writers, WWE officials decide to find real wrestling fans that give the true voice of the people. After a rigorous selection process, myself and Nathan are selected as the new creative directors for WWE.

With this power, we choose to create two distinct brands. Smackdown, a very pure, modern wrestling show. And Raw Is War, were we can let our alternate reality come to life. Without a further ado, here are your major players.

Raw Is War:

John Cena - Face - Gimmick: Hero: John Cena in my world is just like the Cena you all know and love on Raw. He wins, he yells, and....well....that's about it. The twist comes in with his opposition...

The Robot Defense Alliance (RDA) - Heels - The RDA makes up most of Raw is War's top heels. Big Show leads the group, as Big Show's history is not how he has lead you all to believe. In the early 1990's, Paul White (Codename: The Giant) was a highly paid goverment official. His mission? To bring about the destruction of Hulkamania. Why, you may ask. Because Hulk Hogan is also not who you have been lead to believe. In fact, Hulk Hogan is not even who he believes to be. Hulk Hogan is, in fact, a weapon of mass destruction designed by the Soviet Union to destroy the USA in the 1980's. Hulk was programmed to distract America with this notion of "Hulkamania" long enough for the Soviets to launch a nuclear attack on the United States. Unfortunatly for the Sovitets, Hogan glitched soon after establishing his fame, and lost all memory of his origin and mission. In the mid 90's however, during Hulk's rise to fame in WCW, American government official ls finally learned of Hulk's true past and ordered him to be destroyed by their top secret agent, Paul White. The Giant attempted to defeat Hogan, but would ultimately fail in his mission and be fired by the government. Paul continued to wrestle in the then WWF, assuming the identity of The Big Show. He found it a great way to deal with the anger and depression brought about from his failure to destroy Hogan.

Flash forward to Backlash 2009. Big Show lifts John Cena up and slams him into a search light. This deals more damage to John Cena that anything in his career. This is when it hits Show..."He's one of them!". Big Show believes John Cena is also a robot, and is on a mission to find out who built him, why, and ultimately to destroy Cena and regain his position as a government agent. Big Show has, since discovering this, began to enlist John Cena's greatest foes into a rogue group he calls The Robot Defense Alliance. Joining Big Show in the fight against the alleged Robo-Cena are top WWE Superstars Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, and The Miz.

The Four Horsemen - Faces - Economic times are rough. Ric Flair has realized that autograph signings just wont help support all his illegitimate children. Flair decides to come out of retirement and bring back The Horsemen. Unfortunately, Ric returns to a world were many of his old allies have long since retired and the talent pool willing to join up with him is scarce. Ric finally narrows down the applicants to some fellow WCW...uhhh..."legends" in Johnny B. Bad (Marc Mero) and former Dungeon of Doom member The Yetti (A mummy; played in my game by a repackaged Great Khali). Flair also chooses a young upstart. After the talent he showed by defeating Chavo Guerrero week, after week, after week, Ric selects Hornswaggle to round out his rag-tag Four Horsemen.

The Dungeon of Doom - Heels - If 1995 Nitro thought me anything, it's that where ever The Horsemen go, the Dungeon of Doom is sure to follow. 59 year old Kevin Sullivan (Gimmick: Magician) decides to resurrect his strange paranormal group from the 90's. Joining him are Vader, Kane, Jack Swagger (revealed to be nothing more than a highly intelligent ape), and Mike Knox (who's beard is actually an alien organism controlling his thoughts. Kind of like the Spider-Man villain Venom). Word is, Sullivan is using his wizard powers to summon his most powerful monster....but who?

Gay Undertaker - Face - Gimmick: Gay - Just like the Undertaker you all know and love...just gay. On the first show under our control, The Undertaker came out to the ring and announced that he had something to say...he was a homosexual. Kane, his half brother, does not approve of his alternative lifestyle, sparking our second feud. Also, yes, his name is now officially Gay Undertaker.

Dave Batista - Face- Gimmick: Ice Man - EWR has a gimmick Ice Man, meaning that the person is emotionless and cold. In Dave's case however, I'm going to take a bit more literal approach to the term. Dave Batista is, in fact, a caveman who was frozen in ice thousands of years ago who has recently thawed and is attempting to adapt to our culture. A potential name change to Daveman The Caveman is being thought over.

Kevin Nash - Heel - Gimmick: Cool - It's just Nash. For some reason, the idea of normal Kevin Nash being in the midst of all this chaos and not really reacting as if it's weird is possibly the funniest idea of all.

Triple H - Face - Gimmick: ? - I don't exactly know what gimmick Trips will take hold once he returns from his injury he got the first day of my damn game. In our alternate reality, Triple H is a werewolf, but that gimmick is hard to duplicate in EWR. I'm thinking Triple H will be revealed to actually be the Norse God of Thunder, Thor, but we shall see.

Jeff Hardy - Face- Gimmick - Stoner - Nuff' said.

Other roster members that will be used but don't require any strange back story include...

Faces - Jamie Noble, Santino, Golddust, Finlay, Hurricane, Pirate Paul Burchil, Primo, R-Truth, Jim Duggan

Heels - Buff Bagwell, Scott Norton, Chavo Guerrero

Tweeners - Raw General Manager: Bob Sagat.

There you have it folks, the start of an epic journey. I will post the results of my first show, a Pay-Per-View where I crowned my new champions and the first Raw shortly. I will probably provide periodic Smackdown updates for those interested, but as mentioned, it's a lot less sexy than Raw. Hope you all enjoy!